Sunday, June 29, 2008

People watching...not like bird watching, no binoculars...

This past Sunday the young women had the privilage, and i say privalege beause no other nice words come to mind, to sing in Sacrament meeting. We sang a beautiful song whose title escapes my mind, i was really into it, can you tell? The singing wasn't the fun part, we only have like 8 young women, but the best part was being able to watch the people in sacrment meeting. If i ever had a real hobby, other than tether ball, i would be a people watcher. I already plan on being one of those creepy old women who just sits on a bench somewhere and stares at people, but since i'm not old and creepy yet i have to wait a few years, it shouldn't take long! But any way, i saw some hilarious stuff while watching unsuspecting memebers. For starters, has anybody ever noticed how many little kids escape their parents by slipping under pews and rolling away? Alot! Another common thing is people who have their scriptures pu and to the naked eye look like their reading, but rather they are dead asleep and use the sacred scriptures as a ploy! It's a disgrace!
I just have to say that i love watching people, and i have had mnay opportunities to do so. Perhaps my favorite people watching moment would ahve to be when i was observing a 1st grade class for one of my classes. All of these little 6 and 7 year olds were sitting on the floor in front of the teacher for story time, the story was Dr. Seuss of course, what else do you read to 1st graders! Anyway, there were these two little boys sitting next to each other, one had a coat on because it was february and still a little cold. The boy not wearing the coat started digging around in his nose, for like a total of 5 minutes. I was enthralled, i have never seen a finger go up so far! Anyway, after about 5 minuetes he finally found what he was looking for and pulled it out. I leaned closer to examine it, the boogfer was the size of my big toe, i swear, no wonder he picked his nose! So this boy, being very proper, doesnt eat the booger like i expected. Instead he looks around for somplace to plop the booger down. He quickly zeroed in on the boy next to him wearing the big coat. The booger boy then, very slyly i might add, wiped his booger finger on the boys coat while looking away. This si all going on during story time in a first garde class. That moment made my top five most hilarious moments list, it is a very extensive list.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Consequences

Throughout my short life i have learned the hard way that all actions have a consequence, whether it be good or bad. For example when i was 10 i climbed a tether ball pole and became stuck on the hook that holds the ball when it is not in play. My pants got hooked on the hook and when i tried to get down it ripped my pants clear to the crotch. My kindly, old, German principal was the one to eventually lift m down when my teacher realized that i hadn't come in from recess. I then had to walk through the school to get to the nurses office where the phone was located, simultaneoulsy flashing my pocahontas panties that had been a hand-me-down from Emile. That was the consequence of climbing the tether ball pole. Another consequence of that seemingly simple action is that this story gets told regularly at family gatherings, to my obvious embarrasment and to the delight of my father who tells the story like he was there, which, by the way, he wasn't!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Handicapped designated areas

So being the idiot that i am, i volunteered to be an usher at the 2008 graduation ceremony. I am in NHS so we have that option, my friend volunteered, and being the follower that i am i volunteered to, not knowing what was too come! We get to the gym where the ceremony is held and the school is blasting the air conditioning to the point that i swallowed my gum because i was shaking! I still feel it in my esophagus! We get there and my job they told me was to check the handicap tickets and to make sure unhandicapped people didn't sit in the handicapped designated areas. At first it was easy, people slowly trickled in and only one woman with a wheechair showed up and she had a stamp on her ticket, which means she can sit in the handicapped area, as if she could climb the stairs anyway. Then a couple walks in and immediately sit in the handicapped zone, i quickly walked over to do a ticket check, very politely i might add. Lo and behold they don't have the magic stamp! I told them that they would have to move because they weren't "handicapped." The mean old guy immediately pulls out a DMV card that says that he is legally handicapped and tells me thathe and his wife are handicapped and need to sit there. I tell them that their inconsiderate graduate should have taken that into account when he ordered their tickets. The guy promptly starts shoving his magic DMV card in my face and starts yelling. I, usually shy and meak, immediately start raising my voice telling him that i didn't make the rules, i just enforce them, which is funny because i am like 5'3'' and a light weight, i'm not enforcing anything in these people's minds! Then my supervisor comes over and backs me up and makes them move! The "handicapped" guy starts to stomp up the stairs and his wife flashed me dirty looks all night, then our principle starts talking, and then commenced the most generic graduation ever! None of the seniors even snuck anything in, no beach balls or whoopi cushions, nothing! I was shocked! But the night wasn't a total bust, i came home and ate my weight in nachos because i had burned off so many calories trying to stay warm while secretly trying to cudddle up to my friend to steal away some of her body heat. The stupid thing is that i shaved before going and then got goosebumps, why did i even bother?